The Secret To Self-Esteem
What is self-esteem? Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself. People often interchange the word Self-Esteem with Self-Confidence. Self-Confidence is how you feel about your abilities to do something.
Low self-esteem is not uncommon with most women I work with. I often hear “I’m not good enough” or “I not worth it”. This often comes from years of being belittled by an ex-spouse, family members, friends or even a boss. This defeating behavior becomes ingrained in you and you begin to own that negative viewpoint of yourself.
So, what do you do if you have low self-esteem?
Instead of looking at the glass as half-empty; take a look at it being half-full. What are you good at?
I had low self-esteem when I left my marriage. I felt totally inadequate at managing my life as a single divorced mother. However, I could point to other areas of my life where I shined. I am an excellent cook, excel in my career and I’m a loving mother. In other words, I had self-confidence in certain areas of my life.
I find amusement today in the fact that when I first left my marriage, I was responsible for a multi-million dollar budget at my job. But, I was fearful of handling my personal finances on my own. The skill set of living with your budget is the same; but I had no confidence in my ability to apply this in my personal life.
For me, it took someone to point out that I’m already doing this skill; I need to just apply the same principles to how I manage actual spend to budgets at work to what I do at home. From this experience, I learned when I’m facing a daunting task I need to look at the other areas of my life that utilize a similar skill set or experience and apply what I learned.
But what do you do if you have no experience to draw upon.
You ask for assistance from someone who possesses the skill set you need to learn. After the divorce, I moved into a townhouse. When I scrapped up enough money, I purchased some new light fixtures. I knew I needed to hire an electrician for some of the bigger pieces; but asked a girlfriend who does all of her own home repairs to assist me with installing hallway lights.
I was like a newborn baby absorbing all this information about the new world of electricity. Prevention of harm by turning off circuit breakers to understanding why there are 3 wires and how to install. It was an amazing learning experience. I felt good to learn a new skill and gave me the confidence that I could do other minor home repairs.
I discovered that I feel a great sense of accomplishment when I can overcome what I fear; it builds my self-confidence. As my self-confidence grows, I feel better about myself. When I feel better about myself my self-esteem grows.
Today, I feel comfortable in my own skin about being able to handle any aspect of living as a single mother. And that is an amazing and joyous feeling!