Reasons Why Divorced Moms Need To Give Up The Guilt
Divorced moms can struggle with the guilt of working because having a job takes up a lot of time. You can feel pulled away from your home life and all the little details that need to keep it running smoothly. This can lead to feeling inadequate as a mother.
Face it, juggling the plates for your children can be difficult.
But, there’s a different way to look at your situation. Let me share with you.
First of all “Life Balance” is a myth! It’s like the fountain of youth; everybody is looking for it but nobody can seem to find it. It doesn’t exist. I think of it as Life Integration. I needed to learn to integrate both my work and home life. The two need to co-exist; each giving and taking to make it work as a whole.
Today is a perfect example of Life Integration. I was on a 6:00 a.m. global conference call for 1.5 hours at my home. With my Blackberry and laptop, I can work from any location. I find I can be on a call, still make lunches and get my daughter out the door to catch her school bus. I spent my lunch hour exercising in the company gym. In the afternoon, I left work early to get my daughter to a doctor’s appointment.
Second, focus on WHY you are working. You may be working for financial necessity; it may be for a sense of satisfaction. For me it is both. I have a single income and I enjoy the dynamics of a work environment.
Third, get assistance. For me, it was a huge relief when I started sharing pick-up/drop-off duties with other moms. For two years, a neighborhood mom would pick-up my daughter from her school and take her to dance class along with her own daughter. I would pick up the girls at the end of class and drop her daughter off at home. This was a win-win for both of us; for me, I could stay at work a bit longer or run an errand after work alone (alone is huge with elementary age kids!). For the other mom, she could go home and cook dinner for her family to be served when I dropped off her daughter. There are plenty of mothers who will eagerly share in carpooling kids around. All you have to do is ask.
Accept the fact that no one lives the perfectly balanced life, so let yourself off the hook. There will be times when a meeting will be called at the end of the day; or the mom that was to pick up your child had a last minute conflict. This is life and we just need to deal with it. You can always do what I do when these unexpected life events come up and impact the home schedule. Smile because it’s a reminder of how much you love your children.