‘Divorce Trial Rescheduled Again!’ is what I had heard earlier this week from a friend. She wants this Divorce Done and She wants it Done Now! She has been going through a long, emotional and bitter divorce. She had been looking forward to this divorce trial for the past 6 weeks to finally get closure and move on with her life. She is now looking at another 4-6 weeks of waiting and she is IMPATIENT!
How often when we’re going through unpleasant times in our life do we just want to hit the gas pedal and move forward to happier times. I rarely meet anyone who was happy with the amount of time it took to get their divorce, let alone wish it took longer.
The divorce process is emotional and stressful. Sometimes you may feel you’re ready to jump out of your skin due to pressure, and other times you just want to cry. Above all else, you just want closure; you just want to move on.
So, How do you Cope with the Emotional Stress?
You’re ready to get over this hump in your life and I want to help you get there!
What’s important is to diffuse the emotional energy running inside of you. During my divorce I found that when the pressure was really on I would pace around like a tiger in a cage. A friend suggested I take hot bathes with candles and music to calm me down. I found that it worked. It’s amazing I didn’t turn into a prune by the time I was divorced. For others, exercise is a good outlet for all the wound up energy you’re carrying around.
What is equally important is to have a group of friends whom you can call and just talk to; especially someone who has also been through a divorce. A divorced friend will have experience with what you are feeling. They are typically sympathetic and may offer you a suggestion on how to cope. Be sure to also ask your friends what is going on in their lives; listening is another wonderful way to “forget” what you’re going through right now.
During the process I kept thinking how could any woman be able to function with all of THIS going on in her head?
Solutions to Quieting Your Mind and Being at Peace
Acceptance was a key factor for me in achieving a quiet mind. Acceptance that my married life was over; and acceptance of not knowing when exactly the divorce would be finalized. Acceptance, and faith, that my higher power would only give me what I could handle. This ALL helped me keep my sanity.
Being present in Today was some of the best advice friends gave me. At times I would get so wrapped up in projecting what would happen in my day in court, that I had the ‘I will say this’ and then ‘He will say that’ conversation going around in my head.
It was so exhausting and it did NOTHING to help with the situation. It only managed to get me more wound up than I already was. Plus, it took me away from enjoying the good things that were happening in my life that day, or even that moment.
Once I started living in the moment I was able to enjoy beautiful sunsets, the artwork my daughter brought home from schoo,l or enjoying reading a good book. I realized that although I was going through an unpleasant time of my life; I had so much in my life to be grateful for.
Lesson Learned: Take care of myself and Live in Today!