People get stuck in ruts and they stop growing personally on emotional, mental and/or spiritual basis. I see that frequently when working with divorced women and they comment that they I should have divorced sooner, the signs were there.
Humans have a tendency to stay with what is comfortable versus moving outside their comfort zone. Even if current marriage situation is miserable; we elect to stay in what we know versus what we don’t.
We will come up with all sorts of excuses of why we don’t take the leap into the moving on. Staying together for the children’s sake is probably top on the list, followed by financial insecurity or tying it to an event. I will wait until Johnny graduates from college; after Mary’s wedding, when I get that big promotion, etc.
Face it, these are excuses based in fear. Fear paralyzes us into doing nothing.
So, what does it take to move us?
For me it was emotional pain, I just couldn’t endure living with the control issues and loveless marriage. I finally decided to do the leap of faith that I would be much better off as a divorced, single parent than a miserable married spouse.
For me, faith came when I began working with other women who had successfully walked the divorced path before me. They gave me hope that I too could have an incredible life just as they did if I followed their guidance.
When I finally made the decision that I wanted to live my life and not endured it any longer came peace because I knew I was making the right decision for myself and my daughter. Divorce gave me the gift of a wonderful journey of self-awareness and self-discovery that continues to this day.
What I know today is that I don’t want to be stuck in that rut again. Today, I continuously challenge myself to step outside my comfort zone. When I do, it is a growing fulfilling experience. I have done some amazing things in my life, and also fell madly in love with Grand Dude.
My journey has enabled me to pass on what I have learned to other women to pull them from despair into joy. I want divorced women to live the life they were intended to live; not enduring the life that they have. I would hope by the example of my living that others see the hope that there life can be better and take the leap of faith.