Life events happen. There will be good times and there will be times when life is challenging. This is the cycle of life that happens to everyone without exception.
What differentiates people who come out of difficult times with a positive viewpoint versus those that don’t; typically, is the perspective they choose to view life situations.
So often times when life isn’t going the way we want we cry out ‘Why me?’ And then we struggle through a situation wondering why we feel empty, exhausted and ask ‘When will it be Over?’
My experience is: It will be over when we learn from it.
I was recently talking with a divorced gentleman about his relationship with his Ex. They have an amicable relationship today; but it in the early days of post-divorce it was as if World War III had broken out between the two of them. His wife had an affair that ended their marriage; sad situation given they had two very young children.
For years, he was crying out ‘Why Me?’ while causing havoc for his Ex-wife. It was his way of lashing back out at her for the pain she caused him. The scenario of you hurt me and I’ll hurt you is a no win situation for either party involved.
I asked him when the turning point in their relationship was. He said when he changed his perspective on the end of their marriage. He started looking at his part in the wreckage and realized that he wasn’t meeting her needs and so she turned to the arms of another man. I am in no way condoning this act…what she did was wrong; but he chose to learn from this life event rather than continue to be a victim to it.
So often I see divorcees get entrenched in the victim role and choose not to heal. They become bitter and frankly are no fun to be around. They seem to thrive on negativity and at the same time wonder why life seems to be against them. Women who elect this path are often times the same women who cry out ‘Why can’t I find a man who wants to be with me’.
When we choose to learn from our experiences we grow emotionally and from my personal experience spiritually as well. Overtime, I too have come to terms with my part of my marriage that led to divorce. Only when I came to accept my part, learn from my shortcoming and change behavior was I able to move on.
Life events still go on; but today I know these events are here for me to learn and grow from.